


you know i know you best. (i know you best)

by idkspookystuff



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Anxiety, Ficlet Collection, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Indoor Boys, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, One Shot Collection, Pining, fight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:33:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29403435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: a gushy shyan one-shot collection
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 21
Kudos: 38
Collections: Shyan Shipping Society Daily Prompts





	1. it's a wonderful life (first kiss)

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!
> 
> in the [shyan shipping society discord](https://discord.gg/HwgFn8rKbU) (you should join us, we're a fun bunch) i've been doing daily drabble exercises! these are >1K word mini fics that come from my mind stream of consciousness style. they'll probably all be gushy so i hope you're ready to never hurt again. the first prompt is: what was shane and ryan’s first kiss like? who initiated it? where’d it take place? was there anyone else there or was it just them? ofc bc it's me it's mushy
> 
> i'll update tags as i go and all warnings/summaries will be available ahead of each chapter.
> 
> follow me on [tumblr](https://hailwatcher.tumblr.com) for more musing.
> 
> love you!
> 
> \- is

It doesn’t snow in California.

That’s what Shane had grumbled when he walked into Ryan’s apartment with no pretense, and no invitation to be there. He got like that sometimes, especially around the holidays. A longing for home masked by falsified anger at the California skies, always sunny, no matter how much Shane silently begged for change.

Now they’re sitting side by side on Ryan’s couch,  _ It’s a Wonderful Life _ on the screen in front of them. Shane’s considerably calmer now, after a few beers, some popcorn, and the promise of films. But Ryan’s shook up about it. He can’t stop himself from imagining what Shane would be like in the snow, goofy smile on his face, snowflakes stuck to his hair. Ryan wonders what Shane would do if Ryan reached up and brushed one off his cheek. How fast would a snowflake melt under the heat of Ryan’s gaze?

“What do you want?” Shane mouths along with Jimmy Stewart. “You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.”

Ryan kisses him.

It’s an impulsive thing, spurred on by the warmth a few beers always leave in his bones. His hands, shaky and clammy, come up to rest on either side of Shane’s cheeks as he kisses Shane, pulls him in as close as he possibly can. He smells like beer and popcorn and Crest toothpaste, but Ryan swears he can taste the misty air of a snowy Chicago morning on his lips. One of Shane’s big hands comes up to rest on Ryan’s lower back and that’s when it occurs to Ryan that he’s kissing Shane.

The kiss doesn’t last more than a couple of seconds before Ryan pulls back. He drops his hands from Shane’s face, but Shane’s hand doesn’t leave his lower back, so he can’t go very far.

Ryan should speak. Somewhere in his brain, he knows this. He should say something to Shane. Something like “I’m sorry” or “I don’t know where that came from” or even “no homo”, though he doesn’t mean it.

Instead, they stare at each other. It feels like they stare at each other for years, though in reality, it’s probably only a couple of seconds. Ryan searches for any kind of emotional response on Shane’s face, fear, anger, but comes up blank. Not for the first time, he damns Shane’s midwestern emotional repression.

“You kissed me,” Shane says flatly.

“I-” Ryan tries to come up with an excuse, but every attempt falls flat. Shane knows him better than anyone in the world, and he always knows when Ryan’s lying. “Yeah. That I did.”

Shane looks Ryan over like he’s considering. “Did you mean to?”

Ryan furrows his eyebrows. “Did I mean to?” When Shane doesn’t reply, Ryan adds, “how would I kiss you without meaning to?”

Shane’s face shifts from something unreadable into pleading exasperation. “Ry,” he says.

Something about the way he says it makes Ryan want to be truthful. “Yes. I meant to kiss you.”

Shane nods and then looks to the wall, like he’ll find answers there. He hasn’t moved his hand, and it burns hot into Ryan’s lower back.

Ryan’s about to try to move the conversation along and forget about the whole thing when Shane says, “you should kiss me again,” to the wall.

It’s so out of left field that Ryan isn’t even sure he heard him right. “Huh?” he asks.

Shane turns to Ryan, his face flushed. “You should kiss me again.” Shane says. “You know. Only if you want.”

They should probably talk about it. They should  _ definitely _ talk about it. This could jeopardize everything: their friendship, their business, everything they’ve built from the ground up, this world that the two of them inhabit. 

But Ryan isn’t thinking about that. He’s thinking about Shane, and how loud he is, how abrasive he can be, how sometimes he annoys the shit out of Ryan. He thinks about his best friend who talks him through panic attacks with bad jokes until Ryan’s laughing instead of crying. He thinks about what Shane looked like in Salem, snow sticking to his hair, the way he laughed in delight at the weather. He thinks about how it doesn’t snow in California, and how Shane stays anyway.

“Look daddy,” ZuZu Bailey says on his TV. “Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.”

Ryan kisses Shane again.


	2. french restaurant interlude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> texts from ryan inspire a conversation about self-doubt with one of shane's colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's today's prompt!
> 
> Who's your favorite author in the server? What's your favorite fic they've written? Whatever/whoever it is, write a fic in their style/in one of their universes! What would they say? How would their fic continue?
> 
> choosing just one person in the [shyan shipping society discord](https://discord.gg/HwgFn8rKbU) is a really difficult task, but i knew i HAD to write an interlude for my fellow bisexual artemis' fic [i'm in love with a man who knows me better](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29326491/chapters/72023694) (NSFW) because it's so good.
> 
> this takes place between the beginning and the end of the fic, when shane's working in france. i really hope you enjoy it!! 
> 
> [-is](https://hailwatcher.tumblr.com)

“So who’s captured your attention?” Amélie asks. Shane looks up at her from where he’s been texting Ryan under the table. He knows he should be paying attention to the sale of a $110.7 million Monet, the entire purpose for this dinner, but Ryan’s significantly more interesting. And he knows Amélie’s got it down even without him, anyway.

“Sorry,” Shane says. He puts his phone face down on the table. “It’s nothing.”

Amélie looks like she’s about to interject when the waitress comes over to ask if they need anything. “ _Un autre verre de vin rouge, merci_ ,” Shane answers, because he knows there’s no way he’s getting through the remainder of this conversation without another glass of wine. 

He’s right. When the waitress leaves, Amélie pounces. She reaches over and snatches Shane’s phone before he can protest. He really should put a lock on it, he thinks as Amélie easily unlocks it and finds his text thread. “Ryan,” she says. “Who’s this?”

Shane takes his phone back easily, but the damage has been done already. “He’s no one,” he answers again.

Amélie rolls her eyes. “He’s not no one,” she answers. When Shane doesn’t elaborate further, she taps her foot with his under the table. “Come on,” she says. “Who is he? What’s he like?”

The waitress returns with a glass of wine for Shane. “ _ Merci, _ ” he says to her, and then he takes a long sip as she leaves. “He’s smart.”

Amélie raises an eyebrow. “Smart,” she repeats, clearly unimpressed with his answer. “That’s why you’re more interested in him than an original Monet? Because he’s got brains?”

Shane laughs. “Okay, okay,” he sighs, conjures up a mental image of Ryan, tanned skin and big muscles and a kind heart more impressive than any of that. “He’s funny,” he adds. “Kind. Talented. Artistic. He believes in ghosts which would normally make someone an idiot but he’s stupid hot so I don’t care.”

“Stupid hot,” Amélie replies. If the English idiom was lost on her, it doesn’t stop her. “Do you have a photo?”

Shane thinks back to the last picture Ryan sent him and flushes a dark red. He takes a sip from the glass and says over the top of it, “not one that I could share in a public setting.”

Amélie chortles. “Oh ho, good for you!” She pokes at her dinner, largely forgotten in favor of interrogating Shane about his love life. “And why, praytell, haven’t I heard about the darling Mr. Ryan before?”

Shane’s smile drops. “It’s complicated,” he answers. “Ryan, he knows very little about me. He knows about the money and my hobbies and the fun stuff. But he doesn’t know much about my job or how boring I am. He doesn’t even know what I look like.” He looks down at his  bouillabaisse like it personally offended him. “I’m afraid if he knew more-” he shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not sure he’d like the real Shane, that’s all.”

It’s  Amélie’s turn to sigh now. She leans over the table to grab his hands and squeeze. “ _ Amour _ -” she starts. She’s effectively cut off by her phone ringing. “ _ Connard _ ,” she swears as she picks it up to look at who it is. “I knew Henri couldn’t handle the exchange without me.” She stands and wags a finger at Shane. “This conversation isn’t over,” she says, and then she’s off, swearing down her phone in quick French that Shane’s hours on duolingo hasn’t prepared him for.

Shane’s phone buzzes with a text from Ryan.

**RYAN (19:37)**

you know the exorcist is based on a real exorcism?

Shane chuckles at the text. He wishes he was there with Ryan, preparing to watch  _ The Exorcist _ , ready to berate him for being scared. He would hold Ryan close even as he bullied him, just to keep him safe. Just in case.

He wonders what Ryan would think of the real him. Not this rich mogul, but the guy who’d cuddle him while watching horror movies in a pair of sweatpants, popcorn passed between them. He lets himself believe for a second that Ryan would like him: the real Shane, with all of his quirks and flaws. Everything.

“Stupid,” he says to no one in particular, a restaurant of French patrons, sharing meals with people they love, not separated by time and an ocean and experiences.

**SHANE (19:40)**

Demons aren’t real

**RYAN (19:41)**

aw come on!


	3. a lot to handle (but you are too).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Listen. I just want to be able to talk to you about it. And I know that I’m a mess and I’m a lot to handle but you are too and.” Ryan sighs. “I miss you, Shane.” Shane turns to face him, putting his small haul down. “A lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today's prompt:
> 
> Other than Watcher, what's your favorite fandom? What's a fandom you've always wanted to see a crossover with, or a universe you think the boys would be cool in?
> 
> i wasn't gonna write for today's prompt but then inspiration randomly struck and i had to.
> 
> this is an indoor boys au, which is a free short webseries that i binged in one day and that made me cry [(link pls watch)](https://www.indoorboys.tv/). this takes place at the end of season 1 so i guess if you wanna know what happens next you'll have to watch this has been a ploy. 
> 
> join us at [the shyan shipping society discord](https://discord.gg/HwgFn8rKbU) to write the daily prompts and/or talk fic with us!! we'd love to have you.
> 
> enjoy!!

_ Hello. You have reached voicemail. SHANE MADEJ cannot come to the phone at the moment. Leave a message after the BEEP. _

“Shane, listen, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t. You know I didn’t mean all of that, man. I was just heated and in the moment and you were being such a-. But I’m sorry for the way things escalated. Just-”

The door opens.

“-call me back.”

Ryan walks into the kitchen to find Shane, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of sweats with his hair up in a bandana like he hasn’t slept since their fight either. Shane’s wordlessly going through drawers, his keys and his phone abandoned on the counter. Ryan sighs in relief. “Shane-” he starts.

Shane barely nods in his direction. “Came to get my things.”

“Oh,” Ryan answers. He leans back against the counter, clutches the material of his sweater between his fingers. “Listen, I’m not proud of the way I acted.” He follows Shane into the bathroom, where Shane silently gathers products under one arm. “I’m sorry I told you to leave in front of everyone. But you and I both knew this wasn’t working.” 

Shane walks back out into the kitchen and dumps the products on the island, goes through them one by one. “But Brent is a good guy. I don’t know why you can’t just be happy for me. He keeps asking me, like ‘why does Shane despise me?’ and I’m like ‘he doesn’t despise you, give him time, he’ll follow you back on Instagram’, you know? But do you remember before our first date, how you helped me get ready and told me to be myself? Well I’m finally being myself and you’re pushing me away!”

Ryan follows as Shane goes back to sorting through the drawers. “I just feel like, stop me if I’m being completely off base, but like Brent and I have this connection and you’re-. Or maybe not, I don’t know! But you have to talk to me. You never want to talk about anything serious with me!” He follows Shane to the door. “I shouldn’t have to choose between my boyfriend and my best friend, so don’t make me!”

At that, Shane stops, his hand at the door. “Listen. I just want to be able to talk to you about it. And I know that I’m a mess and I’m a lot to handle but you are too and.” He sighs. “I miss you, Shane.” Shane turns to face him, putting his small haul down. “A lot.”

Shane steps forward silently until he’s right in front of Ryan. For a second, he thinks Shane might sock him in the face, but then Shane grabs him by the belt loops and pulls Ryan to his chest. He gets two fingers under Ryan’s chin and lifts his face up. “Say it again.”

“I miss-” is all Ryan gets out before Shane pulls him into a desperate kiss. Both of Ryan’s hands go to either side of Shane’s face, shakily, as Shane backs him against the counter and kisses him senselessly. It shouldn’t be good, to be kissing his best friend, but also it is, it’s so perfect. Shane’s like a strong current, like an Illinois windstorm, and behind his bravado he’s shaking under Ryan’s hands like maybe he’s a mess too.

Later, when they’re laying in Ryan’s bed together, Shane takes his hand and rubs his thumb over his wrist. “You know,” he muses. “You are a lot to handle.”

Ryan smiles at him. “I know.”

“You’re very anxious. You believe in ghosts. Your taste in men is pitiful, I mean, honestly. Brent? He’s a small, generic man. You had no right calling him a 9, he’s a 4 at best. You have to break up with him.”

Ryan rolls his eyes. “I’ll mark it in my calendar.”

Shane presses a kiss to the back of Ryan’s hand. “But you’re beautiful. And funny and smart and you’re way too kind for an asshole like me.”

Ryan sighs. He presses his hand to Shane’s cheek and Shane nuzzles into it. “Shane, that’s not true,” he says. “I’ll break up with Brent, we can be together, you can move back here and it’ll work an-”

“I’m moving to New York,” Shane says.

It takes a second to process in Ryan’s brain. When it does, he bolts up. “Wait, what?!”


	4. where you headed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little foray into shane and ryan's first proper apartment as a couple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another daily prompt! here was the prompt!
> 
> Shane and Ryan just moved into their first apartment/house together! What are their thoughts? What do they do?
> 
> this is yet another part of my indoor boys au [(link pls watch)](https://www.indoorboys.tv/). my friends at the [shyan shipping society discord](https://discord.gg/HwgFn8rKbU) (pls come join us we're a fun group) inspired me to write more of it so here's some more. it's from s3 and the last one was from s1 so you don't have to read the last chapter but it might provide like, one ounce of content.
> 
> okay bye!
> 
> [-is](https://hailwatcher.tumblr.com)

Ryan sits on the floor, surrounded by pieces of a million piece Ikea table, attempting to work out the cuneiform instructions. Shane, of course, isn’t paying attention, sitting on the bed scrolling on his phone. Ryan would ask for help, but he’s not sure Shane even knows what a hammer is.

“You know what I love?” Shane asks.

Ryan turns up his head so he can look at Shane. “Me?”

Shane rolls his eyes and whacks him with a pillow. “Shut up.” Ryan throws the pillow back and Shane puts it behind himself to lean against. Ryan’s sweating from where he’s been working diligently, but he’s glad someone’s enjoying themselves at least. “That your family offered to pay for all of this and you still insist on buying,” he gestures to the floor, “Ikea furniture.” 

Ryan rolls his eyes. “I have a monthly budget.”

“What’s your monthly budget?” Shane asks.

“Can you just hand me a screwdriver?” Shane leans forward and grabs a hammer from the toolkit, handing it to Ryan. Ryan rolls his eyes at him as he takes the hammer. “Hilarious.”

Shane sticks his tongue out at him and goes back to his phone. After a minute, Ryan’s phone buzzes with a new notification. He checks.  _ @shanemadej tagged you in a post _ . Ryan sighs.

“Hey babe?” he says, to which Shane hums. “I love that you’re posting about us on Instagram. I find it super cute. But maybe we can tone it down? It’s only been a couple months and, I don’t know, it feels disrespectful? To Brent? Like maybe I should give him some time. After all, our breakup wasn’t the most amicable. To be honest, I’m surprised he’s even still following you.”

“Mh,” Shane answers. 

Ryan sighs again. “Can you hand me a washer?”

Shane looks at the toolkit. “Which one is that?”

“The little round ones,” Ryan replies.

Shane reaches into the toolkit and grabs a washer, holding it out to Ryan. “What if Brent doesn’t give a shit. Have you considered that?”

Ryan frowns at the washer. “Okay, so I’m gonna need more than one.”

Shane rolls his eyes. He reaches for the little box of washers and pours them out onto Ryan’s lap. The last few hang on and trickle out slowly, falling to the ground with an anti-climactic thud. “Thank you, now I have more than one,” Ryan says sarcastically. When Shane raises an eyebrow at him, Ryan sighs. “You can post whatever you want.”

“Thank you,” Shane answers.

“Just make sure you only photograph me from my left, because that’s my better side. And you can whiten my teeth in Facetune, I know my dad doesn’t follow you, but sometimes I can feel him judging me from here. And if I have any blemishes you can smooth those out too. And when you photograph my shoes-”

Shane leans forward to kiss him. Ryan dodges at the last second, sending Shane to nip at his neck. Shane growls softly in Ryan’s ear, to which Ryan giggles. “Stop it, you animal.” He pushes Shane off and moves so that he can press their foreheads together. “Post whatever,” Ryan says again, softly. 

Shane’s eyes flicker down to Ryan’s lips. “I’m glad I have your permission,” he says before leaning forward to attach their lips.

It’s still weird, being able to kiss his best friend. Ryan doesn’t ever think it’ll  _ not _ be weird. But it’s weird in a way that staying up late during a sleepover is weird, weird like staring out the window at 2AM is weird, weird like watching Shane’s eyelashes flutter against his eyes when he sleeps. Weird, in the best way possible. Like something he doesn’t think he should get to do. Like something he can’t  _ believe _ he gets to do.

Ryan pulls back from the kiss to look Shane in the eyes. “I hate you, though,” he says. “Passionately, and with my whole heart.”

“Sure you do,” Shane answers, and he pulls Ryan back in and kisses him again.

**Author's Note:**

> comments make me :)
> 
> [-is](https://hailwatcher.tumblr.com)


End file.
